i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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