so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
