It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
