But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
