please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
