dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
