Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
