i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
