I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
