my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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