We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
