They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
