he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
