How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
