The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
