All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
