you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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