jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
