Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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