I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
