What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
