Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
