butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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