Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
