yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
