blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
