my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
