if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
