i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
