I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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