so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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