Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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