He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
