paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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