What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
