Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
