That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dick very happy bro
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
