When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
