I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
