We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
