I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
