Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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