Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
