i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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