Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize