are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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