I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
