Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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