Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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