i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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