just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
