It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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