What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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