I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
God, I missed his penis.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
