'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
