I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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